I'm lost and stupid without you.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its about making memories worth repressing
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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