i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
