now i know why i became what i already was.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize