ya dads aren't the best wingmen
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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