I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
