he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
