Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
