where am i from again
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
