i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
