I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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