i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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