Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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