is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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