she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
