she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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