i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
