Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
