I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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