I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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