Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ugly people sure do ruin things
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
