I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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