guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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