i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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