Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
