Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
