it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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