Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
