we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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