I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
