If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
false alarm, still single
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
