I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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