I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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