i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
