You made me cry and you don't even care
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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