I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
