Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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