One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
