So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Someone signed my nipple.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
