Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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