The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
