One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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