When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
