He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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