Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
