doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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