she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
