"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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