she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
