He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
