WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
