remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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