i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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