My first STD was from a foam party
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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